12 Classics of Pants Theater

We at the Pants Institute are dedicated to education of the public on the many contributions that Pants have made to our culture and society. In our previous monographs, we have been pleased to share with you in-depth discussions of great works of Classic Pants Literature as well as more popular media, such as critical analyses of the genre of Pants Horror Cinema. Our next installation of this ongoing series of Great Seriousness and Importance delves into the pants classics of the stage:

    Pants of a Salesman
    A middle-aged man discovers that his pants are both terribly unflattering and decades out of fashion.

    Waiting for Pants
    A story of time wasted away in the laundromat when the dryer cycle is unbearably slow.

    Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Wear Pants
    Two men hang out at the laundromat playing quarters while waiting for Hamlet to finish his laundry.

    Pants on a Hot Tin Roof
    When a family’s dryer is broken, they consider laying their laundry out on the roof to dry.

    A Raisin in the Pants
    A legal drama about the status of a raisin left in a pocket on laundry day.

    Who’s Afraid of Virginia’s Pants?
    An inebriated couple exchange verbal barbs as they sort through their dirty laundry.

    The Importance of Wearing Pants
    Two young men practice deception by frequently changing their pants.

    Oedipus Pants
    The story of a man’s unholy love for his mother’s pants.

    Barefoot in the Pants
    A newlywed couple find how hard it is to put on pants when you are already wearing shoes.

    A Doll’s Pants
    A marriage falls apart when a woman discovers what a small pants size her husband really wears.

    The Pants of Dorian Gray
    A young man’s pants increasingly show the stains of his escapades.

    The Pants Menagerie
    The story of a blogger who writes obsessively about pants.

Thanks to Painted Maypole, thespian and pantsblogger extraordinaire, whose recent flurry of pants posts has given me the much needed kick in the pants to get back to pantsblogging. Thanks also to John, who suggested the addition of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Wear Pants.

20 responses to “12 Classics of Pants Theater

  1. Brilliant!! All classics, indeed.

    But I must argue for the inclusion of

    Our Pants

    A seemingly simple drama abouta day in the life of pants,exposing the frays and patches that make up a seemingly ordinary life.

  2. or how about

    12 Angry Pants
    A dozen Pants debate who is to blame for the fact that they are ignored in the back of the closet.

  3. Pants and Prejudice
    A meddling mother tries to marry off her four daughters, in the hopes that they will continue to be able to afford pants.

  4. You left out many of Shakespants’ best works, such as Much Ado About Pants, The Taming of the Pants, The Pants of Errors, All’s Pants That Ends Pants, and The Winter’s Pants.

  5. Ah yes, quite the distinguished list!

    And then there are the modern classics:

    Six Degrees of Pants
    — a complex social drama that illustrates how six pairs of pants connect us all

    American Pants
    — David Mamet’s drama about four men conspiring to steal a wealthy man’s pants

  6. “Pants on a Hot Tin Roof” is genius.

    Perhaps the next installment can cover modern romantic classics?

    You’ve Got Pants
    Pretty (Hot) Pants
    When Pants Met Sally
    Pants-less in Seattle

    Saying of the Day: A Fool and his Pants are Soon Parted.

  7. West Side Pants
    About the gang warfare that ensues when someone wears the wrong pants.

  8. Oops! Shouldn’t have posted before looking at Painted Maypole’s blog!

  9. Painted-
    The Pants Institute always welcomes your pants contributions.

    How could I have missed Pants and Prejudice in my literature post?

    It’s always good to get into the pants. (But I am glad you went and had a look at Painted Maypole’s posts!)

    Excellent additions. The Pants Institute may have a job opening for you.

    The Pants Institute will take your suggestions under consideration. We especially like “You’ve Got Pants.” Girl, you’ve got pants!

    We will keep that in mind for our Musical Pants edition.

    As a wise woman once said, All’s Pants That Ends Pants.

  10. Inspired! And good for a smile & a laugh this morning – thanks!

  11. Ah yes. I once played Vladimir in an avant garde production of Waiting for Pants, So? For some reason, the (Scottish) director felt the crushing ennui would best come across if the entire cast wore kilts.

  12. Speaking of Pants, Alejna, did you know there actually is a book entitled A Brief History of Pants?


    (Though considering the “brief” mention, it’s about British rather than American pants!)

  13. I am quite fond of pants blogging.

  14. Love this.

    How about The Scarlet Pants?
    A pair of bright red pants suffers public humiliation.

  15. az-
    I’m glad that my pants made you smile!

    Hmmm…Kilts. That is an unusual (and very amusing) interpretation.

    I hadn’t heard of that book. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!

    You should try it on yourself! Your blog would look great in pants.

    A fine addition. Red pants are often treated poorly.

  16. How about a musical theater selection, like “Guys and Pants”? It’s about guys gambling and finding salvation within their trousers.

  17. Mme. Meow-
    Heh. I think too many guys look for salvation in their trousers.

  18. Ha! Thanks for the laugh this morning. I can’t decide which is my favorite…A Raisin in the Pants or Who’s Afraid of Virginia’s Pants? Hilarious.

    A Raisin in the Pants…that’ll linger with me all day. Thanks.

  19. Pingback: Borrowed Pants: Selected Texts from the Pants Archives « collecting tokens

  20. Pingback: Welcome Back, Pants | collecting tokens

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