right from the start


I have given in to the urge to put together a sort of 2008 blog recap. Following in the footsteps of Mad, Magpie, Bea and Holly, I present to you the opening sentence of each first post of the month. (Or in some cases, a sentence fragment. Because I like sentence fragments.) (And I’ve also put the post title.)(In parentheses.)(Because I like parentheses.)

What this excercise has demonstrated to me is that my posts tend to lack interesting beginnings. I’d like to say that I’ll work on getting more interesting “hooks” for my posts. However, if I were to agonize about the beginnings of my posts, I would likely collapse in a heap of debilitating self-awareness.

On the other hand, I could try starting with the right opening sentences, and then work my way from there. What my openers above clearly lack, aside from elements that might intrigue a reader, is pants.

I offer to you an alternate universe list of post openers:


    January: The moment I walked in the room, I realized that I had worn entirely the wrong pair of pants.

    February: Hell hath no fury like a woman pantsed.

    March: You would not believe the number of people who have been trying to get into my pants this week.

    April: Today I invented a novel way of wearing pants.

    May: You can tell a lot about people from their body language, or from going through the contents of their pants pockets.

    June: I can’t remember where I left my pants last night.

    July: Shakespeare knew a thing or two about writing, but from what I’ve heard, he was a bit lacking in the pants department.

    August: My love of pants may finally have gotten me in trouble with the law.

    September: Last night I found a mysterious message, a poetic missive written in an elegant hand, stuck to the seat of my pants.

    October: On beautiful Fall days like this, I sometimes gaze out the window at the leaves falling gracefully from the trees and the pants falling clumsily from the waistlines of the passersby.

    November: I’ve signed on for NaPaWriMo (National Pants Writing Month) this year, which means that every day for this whole month, I’ll be joining the ranks of those who can’t help but write about pants.

    December: Today turned out to be an unfortunate day to go outside without my pants.

11 responses to “right from the start

  1. LOL! I think your new year’s resolution should be to incorporate pants into all of your opening hooks.

  2. Laughing too hard to make any other comments. You rock, woman.

  3. HA! you rock the pants

  4. Can you change your dissertation topic to the linguistic impact of pants in conversation?

  5. Pingback: Baggage Carousel 4 » Archivio » because i am lacking in good ideas

  6. I’m laughing my pants off here. :-)

  7. LOL. LMAO.

    Dammit, Girl, you always – ALWAYS – get me with the pants!!!

    Pants rule!!!!

  8. I love the pants off this list ;o)

    I’ve been thinking about doing a yearly recap myself. Maybe today is the day.

    Maybe tomorrow is looking better.

  9. i think that second list looks like a challenge. this year, start each month with THOSE opening sentences!

  10. Ha! Am now pant-ing for another year of silly lists.

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