Summer is here, at least for those of us up on this side of the equator. Summer signals a range of things. Picnics and barbecues. Trips to the beach and dips in the pool. Berry picking. Hotter temperatures. Longer days. Shorter pants.
And in some places, as Mad reminds, Shakespeare festivals.
While the bard himself may have covered his esteemed rear end with garments cut of another fashion, he no doubt would have come to love pants had he lived in our day and age. We can only imagine the great things that Shakespeare might have written had he lived in an age of pants.¹
Without further ado, and with all due respect, I offer to you a glimpse of some pants that might have been.²
Iago, Othello (II, iii, 376-379)
Prospero, The Tempest Act 4, scene 1, 148–158
Hamlet, Hamlet Act 1, scene 2, 142–146
But in our pants, that we are underlings.
Cassius, Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)
Helena, A Midsummer Night’s Dream (I, i, 234)
Lady Macbeth, Macbeth Act 5, scene 1, 26–40
Mercutio, Romeo And Juliet Act 3, scene 1, 90–92
Brutus, Julius Caesar Act 1, scene 2, 15–19
Hero, Much Ado About Nothing (III, i, 106)
Malvolio, Twelfth Night (II, v, 156-159)
With odd old pants stol’n out of holy writ
Richard, King Richard III (I, iii, 336-338)
Cleopatra, Antony and Cleopatra (V, ii, 282-283)
King, Hamlet (III, iii, 100-103)
Marcellus, Hamlet Act 1, scene 4, 87–91
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Hamlet, Hamlet Act 1, scene 5, 159–167
Quotes, or at least the pants-less versions of them, harvested from this site.
¹ And had he been an utter loon.
² It’s been a long time since I’ve shared my pants with you. Truth is, I’ve been sitting on these pants for many months.