Dirty John Rackham
To contribute to your organization’s success through the use of exceptional customer service, managerial, and plundering skills. Or to find a position as a nanny. Arrrr.
- Hard-working, tough-skinned swash-buckling individual with questionable personal hygiene
- Exceptional versatility, adaptability and swaggering
- Solid managerial, administrative and looting experience
- Ability to manage multiple tasks in a pressured environment.
Interpersonal and Managerial skills
- Interacted with and kidnapped a wide variety of personalities while pillaging, plundering, and wreaking havoc.
- Delivered excellent customer service and conducted in-house plundering promotions
- Proved multi-tasking abilities by scheduling and supervising crew of scurvy dogs, bilge rats and lily livered scalliwags
- Served as right hand to notorious Bloody Captain Roberts (whose original right hand was lost to gangrene)
- Completed, submitted and burned edges of invoices and maps for buried treasure.
- Fondled large sums of loot and booty.
- Maintained rum inventory control.
- Looted petty cash, payroll, inventory, accounts receivable and payable.
- Said “Arrrrr!” a lot. (Mayhaps that be an interpersonal skill.)
- Sailin’ the seas since I were a young lad and had all me teeth.
- I learnt things th’ hard way. I got th’ scars t’ prove it, ye landlubber. Arrrr.
This post can be blamed on a confluence of unrelated events: the Monday Mission, which asks this week for a post in the form of a resume, and the approach of Talk Like a Pirate Day (which is coming up on Wednesday, September 19.) This resume is very loosely based on a sample resume. Actually, quite a lot of lines from the resume worked pretty well from that verbatim. Arrrr.