Potentially kick-ass women movies that probably suck


This is another installment of my ongoing project to collect, classify and critique movies, TV shows and other media that prominently feature kick-ass women. I started by putting together lists of my all-time favorite movies in this genre. (I also started a consolidated list, for quick reference, but have to update it.) A recent contribution to the project has come from another blogger, who put together a list of her 10 favorite Hong Kong kick-ass women movies. Other installments from me have included a couple of lists of movies that I haven’t yet seen, but would like to. I also recently made a list of movies with kick-ass women that I found disappointing. (Whether it was disapointment in the movie, or disappointment in the potentially kick-ass women.) This next list somewhat straddles the last two categories: movies with potentially kick-ass women that I haven’t seen, but don’t have high expectations for. In many cases, I’m (morbidly) curious about them, though.

9 potential kick-ass women movies I haven’t seen, am not sure I want to see, but have some morbid curiosity about

  1. Barb Wire (1996)
    This is the one starring Pamela Anderson (Lee). I really don’t expect anything redeeming about this movie, though I did read a review on imdb saying the movie is fun in a campy way.
  2. Batman & Robin (1997)
    This looks awful. I’ve read that it’s awful. But I’m somewhat morbidly curious about Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl.
  3. Starship Troopers (1997)
    I stumbled across a mention of this one at some point in my “research,” but from a source I don’t have much trust in. Not sure the details on who the kick-ass woman is. It has Denise Richards and Dina Meyer. (Funny, I just typed Dina Richards and Denise Meyer…guess that reflects that I don’t really know either of their work.) Googling “Denise Richards” and the movie title brought up various mentions of breasts and sex scenes, which is not a good sign. Oh, and I did find this useful abridged version of the script, though.
  4. Out of Sight (1998)
    Jennifer Lopez plays a US Marshall. I vaguely recall that this is the movie where she lets her own ass get kicked due to mushiness for George Clooney.
  5. Entrapment (1999)
    I have very low expectations of this for 2 reasons: 1) Sean Connery, who is, as far as I can tell a misogynist. I blame him for some of the atrocities of The Avengers (1998). I don’t think he likes to have a character he plays bested by a woman. and 2) Catherine Zeta-Jones. I once read an interview with her in a magazine (I don’t even know which. I was probably in a waiting room somewhere) where she talked about the importance of the and the challenges associated with being…pretty.
  6. Miss Congeniality (2000)
    I have serious doubts about the kick-ass qualities of Sandra Bullock in this, but I’m curious. Looks to be a lightweight comedy.
  7. Lara Croft Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life (2003)
    Angelina Jolie, once more. The first one was moderately disappointing. What should I expect from the sequel of a moderately disappointing movie?
  8. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
    I just don’t know if I can stomach this one. What with Arnold and all. Kristanna Loken plays a female terminator. That Arnold presumably whoops.
  9. Catwoman (2004)
    I wanted this one to be fun, but I heard it was pretty bad. (Although one friend of mine said she enjoyed it.) Halle Berry wears the catsuit.

9 responses to “Potentially kick-ass women movies that probably suck

  1. I would like to remind you that we did see “Out of Sight” many years ago, while living in Providence, and it did indeed suck.

  2. You lived in Providence? I went to Brown undergrad and loved the city.

    It appears that “Out of Sight” was out of mind for good reason.

    I was thinking about who I thought were kick-ass women on TV while growing up and definitely for me: Jamie Sommers, aka The Bionic Woman. Man, did I love watching that show! Oh! And her imposter double with the bionic gum! Evil!

    Of your list, I saw Miss Congeniality, partially against my will. (Or was it the other way around?) I think I thought it was cute in a mindless brain dump way which is fine by me. I have low standards.

  3. Jwbates–
    Thank you for reminding me of having seen “Out of Sight.” I guess that releases me from the need to see it again. But I fear I must challenge your memory here, as the movie came out in 1998, and we moved to Massachusetts in 1995. Ha!

    KC–
    Yup, we lived in Providence. We were also undergrads at Brown. I was (or at least started as) class of ’93, John was (or started as) class of ’92. And, at the risk of seeming creepy, KC, I must confess that I knew you went to Brown. Because that is actually how I stumbled across your blog. You see, I’d just started reading my friend Jenny’s blog, who I was an undergrad with, a couple of months ago. And she happened to mention Brown in a post. And you happened to have left a comment where you mentioned having gone to Brown. Which made me curious, probably to see if you were someone I knew. So, I checked out your blog. And was drawn in. (I doubt we would have met at Brown, though. However, if you ate at the VW, you might have seen me running around. Working that is. Not just running around. I’m much too lazy to run around if I’m not getting paid for it.)

    And yeah, the Bionic Woman is definitely a good kick-ass woman show for my lists. It’s been ages since I watched it. I’m sad to say I don’t even remember her imposter double with bionic gum. Bionic gum! I’m intrigued.

    As far as Miss Congeniality goes, I can probably handle mindlessly cute. Of late I haven’t always had enough brain to digest more mindful film fare. (And “Out of Sight,” out of mind indeed! Good one!)

  4. Hi Alejna —

    Here’s another female who fondly remembers the Bionic Woman. Moving on to more recent American productions: Movies like “Miss Congeniality”, OTOH, make me think “Thank god for Hong Kong movies, etc….”

    As for “Starship Troopers”: It’s an interesting work which has prompted much discussion on the internet, etc. re its cultural politics. For myself, I found it rather entertaining — but didn’t get particularly excited by its female characters.

    Re the other movies on your list: I’ve thus far managed to avoid them and, frankly, don’t see much reason for changing this situation anytime in the near future!

  5. The bionic gum gave the imposter double bionic powers temporarily. She’d chew and fill one side of a blackboard with writing in approx 2 seconds during her imposter teaching classes. I can say this with certainty because I’m pretty darn sure that few people actually know the full story line and who’s to challenge me? (my mind is growing fuzzier at an alarming rate.)

    About the Brown thing, that’s an interesting link and not creepy at all…

    Er…must go….attend to…. patients. Yes! Attend to patients!

  6. KC: I remember that scene from the Bionic Woman. Trivia I just found: Lindsay Wagner won an Emmy for that episode.

  7. Good God. You haven’t seen Out Of Sight? You have to. Right now. Stop reading this and go see it right now. It does not potentially suck. It potentially is an incredible movie.

    So here’s how the list goes.

    1. Suck

    2. Suck

    3. Great Sci-Fi. Have to see it.

    4. See it this instant.

    5. Suck

    6. Suck

    7. Suck

    8. Suck

    9. Suck

  8. YTSL and Piper-
    OK, I’ll give “Starship Troopers” a chance. I like good sci-fi. But I still won’t expect too much kick-assedness from the women characters.

    Piper-
    An excellent list overview. (Though I’ll have to ponder what to do about item 4, since I’ve apparently already seen it. Which is I guess how I remember being disappointented in J. Lo getting all wimpy mushy over Georgy. Perhaps I will give it another chance, but I’m afraid, though it may well be a good movie, that it will not score well on the kick-ass woman scale.)

    KC-
    Thanks for the synopsis of the Bionic Woman imposter double episode. That show apparently had some creative writers…I enjoy the idea of a villainous plot involving not only evil gum, but writing lots of stuff on a blackboard. (And good thing you have John (jwbates) to back up your memory (hmm, sounds like he’s offering to store your data). Otherwise I’d have to believe that it was you getting creative on me.)

    (By the way, I seem to enjoy nesting parentheses. (When I have the opportunity. (OK, I’m forcing this. (But it’s so much fun. (I should go to sleep.)))))

  9. I loved Entrapment – strong woman, slick but still human enough to fall for the guy she’s after.

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