finding a way to volunteer with my hands full

A little over a year ago, Jen and Mad celebrated their first anniversary of social justice marriage, and a year of encouraging online activism in a little corner of the blogosphere with the Just Posts. As part of that celebration, they asked for Just Post participants to consider giving a gift: to take our activism beyond the online world, and to commit to volunteerism. In the real world. I scribbled a hasty I-owe-you of a post, promising to them (and to myself) that I would write more about my past volunteer work, and to find a way to do more volunteer work.

I’m ashamed to say that I have made no substantial progress in that area since that post. My main excuse has been overload. At the time I was teaching a class, trying to plow forward with my research job and degree-related projects, and suffering from first trimester morning sickness. Since then, I was busier than ever getting ready for conferences, traveling, and trying to move forward with my degree before my impending due date. Then I was busy with parenting a newborn and a toddler, while still trying to keep a foot in my research job.

I really want to do volunteer work, but I haven’t found the time or energy.

Theo will soon start daycare, and I will then need to work harder at making up hours I owe from my not-quite-maternity-leave stretch. With two children in daycare, the costs of childcare and occasional commuting to my job will probably just about equal my net income from my graduate stipend. John is super busy with his work, and already putting in long hours at parenting as it is. We can’t reasonably take time away from his work time or mine for me to have a few child-free hours to put into volunteering.

But I have an idea.

My hope is that I can find meaningful volunteer work where I can bring along Phoebe and Theo. I would like them to grow up with the acceptance of service as being a normal part of life, and including them seems a good way to further that goal.

So, my plan is to start investigating ways that I can volunteer with a baby and toddler in tow. I am very much open to suggestions, and would love to hear from any who have experience doing such things. Jen has inspired me on many occasions with her mentions of bringing her daughter M along with her to work in homeless shelters. Holly wrote about the doors opened for her in her research on public health by bringing along her small children.

My past volunteer work with resettled refugees was very important to me. I signed on as an ESL tutor, with goals of gaining experience that might be applicable to my studies and career. What I found, though, was that I was often able to help in more ways that just helping with language: I helped negotiate bureaucracy, helped interpret bills and other notices that came in the mail, and answered questions about life in the US.

It has occurred to me that many refugee (and other immigrant) families also have small children. I love the idea of getting together with such a family to help with their English or otherwise provide insight into US culture, and having Phoebe and Theo along with me to play with and get to know young kids from another culture. I’m hoping to find an organization that will be amenable to such an arrangement.

My next step is to start contacting some groups. I’ve identified two or three that I’ll try, and I plan to send some emails. I’ll try to have an update of my progress next month.

excuses, excuses (ad nauseam)

Dear Blogosphere,

Please excuse Alejna’s continued absence from posting and visiting and other blog-related activities. She has been recovering from a blechy stomach virus, which has been making her feel really icky since Wednesday night. She has also been tending to a very sick sweet Phoebe, who was hit even harder by the nasty bug. Also to a teething Theo, who thankfully seems not to be overly affected by the virus.

Alejna hopes to return to her regular blog attendance in the next couple of days, and hopes she can be allowed to turn in any missed assignments at that time.

Sincerely,

Alejna’s Largely Neglected Laptop

So much for jumping right back into blogging.

I was feeling really great Wednesday morning, if just starting to deal with the the 3-hour time difference. I took Phoebe late to daycare, ran some errands with Theo, then came home. At which point I noticed that the contractor we’ve been working with installed a different door on our deck than the one we discussed. (Have I mentioned we’ve been dealing with home repais?) Then I tried to do a little work, trying to hold on to my recent productivity, and encountered a big setback in my research. So I turned to the internet for solace, and skimmed through friends’ recent status updates on Facebook. And saw that azahar, who had been told she was clear of any signs of cancer, now has evidence of two new tumors. Fuck.

These various things, combined with jetlag, left me feeling drained, and then queasy with worry for the evening. Or at least I thought it was the anxiety causing the queasiness. The 101 fever seemed a bit much. And then when my anxiety caused Phoebe to start vomiting, I realized that there was probably something else going on, too.

John was up with Phoebe just about all night. Theo was also quite fussy, though that may have just been teething. (His first tooth broke through Thursday night.) Phoebe was sicker than we’ve ever seen her on Thursday, and recovery’s been pretty slow. I’ve had a much milder version of whatever it is, but I haven’t managed to eat normal food until today. It’s been largely impossible for me to get in the sort of calories I need to keep up with Theo’s feeding.

We’re glad this didn’t hit us while we were on the trip. And relieved that John has (at least so far) seemed to have missed it. (I don’t know how single parents manage sometimes.) John has some important work deadlines he’s got to keep working towards, too.

We largely gave up on trying to adjust to the time zone, so we are still on West Coast time. Sleep, whenever we could get it, seemed more important than paying attention to the clocks.

I’m still feeling pretty icky, but am clearly on the mend. Phoebe’s mostly better, but is now afraid both of sleeping in her own bed, and of vomiting. Theo is still teething, and may have a second tooth about to pop through.

I haven’t really managed to get online much, so I’m sorry for my continued neglect. Thanks so much for your comments on my last post, and thanks to anyone else who is still reading for standing by.

I’ll be back for real. Sometime. Soon, I hope.

p.s. The March Just Posts are just around the corner, and they need you! Have you read posts this month that moved you or made you think about topics of relating to social justice? Have you written one? There’s still time. For more info, check out the info page.

p.p.s. Just to add to my general crankiness, I am informed that my post title contained a spelling error, so I have fixed it.

nothing like coming home to a clean house

There’s nothing quite like coming home to a clean house, especially after a long and exhausting trip. Walking in to see a clean kitchen, tidy living room, and lots of clear surfaces instantly takes away much of the stress of the journey.

Our own homecoming was nothing like this.

Our house still showed all the evidence of our pre-trip chaos. Living room floor covered in toys, piles of clothes on the couch that were rejected candidates for taking on the trip, a heap of dirty laundry in the laundry room, kitchen counters covered in our usual clutter.

We pulled into our driveway at about 1:30 last night (or this morning). In all, it was about 13 hours door to door, with barely a moment to relax. The flights went quite well, but it took a lot of energy to keep the little ones entertained (or at least contained).

But we’re home! We had a great trip. The traveling part was a challenge, as you might imagine. Even though most everything went smoothly over the 3 travel days, 3 trips through security and 4 flights. No missed or cancelled flights, no lost luggage, no run-ins with TSA. Not even any major tantrums. (Well, maybe John and I came close when a family of 8 cut us off in the security line at Houston, jumping into the gap when the family ahead of us moved through, and before John could slide our things down the table. They said we “didn’t look ready.” So we had to wait for all of them to take off shoes and coats, etc.)

We had a wonderful visit with my family in California, and it was great to see all 4 cousins together for the first time. The days were quite full of baby care and toddler-wrangling, but we did manage a few outings and festivities. Which were themselves quite full of baby care and toddler-wrangling. The visit in Texas before that was also good, we enjoyed ourselves at the wedding, and got to spend some nice time with various members of John’s family.

I also managed to submit that abstract that was due on Sunday. I was working on the project just about every “free” chunk of time I could find for the last few weeks, even to the point of coding and analyzing data with a baby attached to me. Thanks to the help and understanding of my family, I was able to hole myself up in my sister’s office for a few uninterrupted hours to make the last critical push to get the abstract revised and sent in. I also owe thanks to some of my friends who acted as subjects, under rather unusual circumstances, as I had Theo with me. And to John, who encouraged me to keep trying, when I could very easily have been convinced to give up. Thank you!

In all, my days and nights have been very full for the last few weeks.

away

Hey, friends-

So, I may not have mentioned it, but I’m not at home now. We’re down in Texas (Houston area) for a nephew’s wedding. We flew in Thursday. (And boy are our arms tired. Actually, they are, with all that luggage-lugging and toddler-wrangling and baby-hoisting. My feet are still pretty tired, too.)

If it’s any indication of how busy we’ve been, I started to write the above bit on Friday, and then had to adjust my original statement of “flew in yesterday.” I’ve had about 10 minutes time with my laptop up till now. Right now everyone else is asleep.

The wedding was yesterday, so we got to have cake on Pi Day. (No time to bake a pi pie this year.) I’ll hopefully manage to upload some photos. Photos of the kids, that is. I’m afraid I have no photos of the cake.

It’s been fun to see John’s family, but I find myself thinking that time “alone” with John with “only” two small children feels more like “privacy” than I’d been accustomed to.

Tomorrow we fly off to California to meet my newest nephew, who is almost 2 months old, and I’m terribly excited about that. Well, I’m excited about meeting the nephew, and seeing my family. I wish we could skip the flying off part. (Actually, the plane trip itself wasn’t so bad. It was the wrangling of 3 suitcases, 2 carseats, umbrella stroller, 5 carry-on bags, 1 three-year-old and 1 very large infant that was somewhat more challenging.)

The other bit that’s been keeping me busy, by the way, is work. I’ve had it in my head to make some progress on my research, with the goal of submitting an abstract to a conference. I was using just about every minute that was not dedicated to the care of small children to working on work that I pretty much owe. I made some good progress, but with the trip, it wasn’t looking like I could manage. However, the deadline for the conference was miraculously extended a week, so there’s still a chance I can pull it off. Really, I should be using this unexpected window of time (before the onslaught of family obligations kicks in) to get back to work, but here I am instead.

I’m not sure when I’ll have time to post again, or even to read blogs. And now I hear the wimper of a little person beginning to stir, so I’d best post this before another 2 days pass.

Thinking of you fondly,

Alejna

The February Just Posts

Welcome to the latest edition of the newest incarnation of the Just Posts, a monthly Social Justice roundtable. Holly and are pleased to serve up a bounty of fabulous posts from around the blogosphere on topics of activism in all shapes and sizes.

I confess that I am currently swamped, sandwiched between work and family obligations, and smothered in mixed metaphors. As such, I don’t at this moment feel like I can write a post that does justice to a topic of social justice. Instead, I had a brainstorm that each month I would feature a song that speaks to some of the issues that affect our world.

I’m not sure why it popped into my head a few days ago, but I have lately been listening to and thinking about the song “Black Boys on Mopeds,” by Sinead O’Connor. Sinead sings of her sadness and frustrations about poverty, racism and social injustice. What has really struck a cord with me, at this time when I am continually adjusting to motherhood, is her longing to protect her child from these harsh realities:

England’s not the mythical land of Madame George and roses
It’s the home of police who kill black boys on mopeds
And I love my boy and that’s why I’m leaving
I don’t want him to be aware that there’s
Any such thing as grieving

If you have a few minutes I invite you to listen to the words. (You can also read the full lyrics.)

And now for our roundtable:

jen at One Plust Two with welcome to the jungle and en route

Amy at Je Ne Regrette Rien with A Day With Fibromyalgia and This Angel Needs SOLE.

Thordora at Spin Me I Pulsate with When a Man Wants to Murder a Tiger…

Bon at cribchronicles with More.

Angela at Letters from usedom with We are in the Middle of Something New, I was given a beautiful award, and Tapestry of Life.

Reya at The golden puppy with Money Changes Almost Everything, Past Present and Future, and Right or Wrong.

Julochka at Moments of Perfect Clarity with School is Cool.

Hummingbird at Hummingbird with Friend, stop a moment.

Deborah at What if with What a Wonderful World and My Dear Valentine.

Peter at The Buddha Diaries with Film Review: Wheel of Time, Another much bigger ethical conundrum, and Post-Racial.

Third story at Three Stories High with Kites on a Corner.

Elder woman at Elderwomanblog with Just One Shift.

Jarret at Creature of the shade with Stay or go.

Maggie Dammit at Violence Unsilenced with The Beginning.

Erika at Be Gay About It with Violence unsilenced.

Em at Social Justice Soapbox with Take Action: Responding to the Victorian bushfires.

Susie J with Grow and Garden and Share.

girlgriot at If you want kin, you must plan kin with How now, Juan? and To B(oycott) or not to B(oycott).

la loca at baggage carousel 4 with wrong reason, right vote.

Thailand Chani at Finding My Way Home with Jiho.

One Year to Change the World with To bin or not to bin and The Age of Noisy Altruism.

Brigitte Knudson with Education Stimulus: What America Really Needs.

Neil of Citizen of the Month with My Once A Year Jewish Rant.

This month’s nominators:

Bon
Hel
Mad
Holly
Alejna

Please also pay a visit to Holly, as she is writing about an interesting proposal.

If a post of yours has been included in the list, if you have nominated posts, or if you would just like to show your support of the just posts, we invite you to display a Just Posts button on your blog with a link back to here or to the list over at Holly’s.

For more information about the Just Posts, please visit the Just Posts information page.

space (PhotoHunt)

A dramatic space in the Musée d’Orsay in Paris.

The PhotoHunt theme of the week is “space.” Which has caused the Star Trek intro to run relentlessly through my head for the past day or so. (Space: The final frontier…) But zipping through my photo collection at rocket speeds revealed no spacy space photos.

I did, however, find this shot I liked of a very spacious space in the Musée d’Orsay in Paris. (Yes, it’s another one from my August 2007 trip.)

For more examples of people spacing out on the theme, go visit tnchick.

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In other news, the Just Posts are coming up fast. There’s still a bit of time to send your links, so please join us at our monthly roundtable of Social Justice posts. Yes, you. And you in the back, too. Bring your friends, too.

snowed

After a brief teaser from spring, who popped by for a couple of days with her sunny disposition and temperatures warm enough to show a bit of bare ground, prudish winter came back in a rush to cover the ground once more in a thick blanket of snow.¹

The silver lining to those snow-dumping clouds is that I finally got to put Theo in that red snowsuit.

Aside from that, I have lately realized that I’m really behind in my work.

Yes, I know that I’ve known before, but this time the realization has hit me hard. Like a snowball. A packed, icy snowball, that hits me in the face, and knocks me down into a snowbank where I flail awkwardly trying to get myself up, as snow-laden tree branches drop their load on top of me with a whump, getting snow in under my jacket collar.

I’m feeling, as it were, snowed under. Until I manage to dig myself out, I should be spending less time, you know, blogging.

So, once again, I apologize for the general absence of comments, and responses to comments. I’m still reading, but have such limited time with the ability to type.²

And once more, to distract you, I offer you gratuitous baby photos.

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¹ Our driveway this year has been variously covered in blankets of snow and sheets of ice. I think at some point there may also have been a mattress pad of slush, topped by an eiderdown of freezing rain.

² Because my hands are numb from playing in the snow without gloves. Or something like that.