Phoebe’s nemesis


Phoebe has finally understood the menacing force that threatens her.

And what might this monstrous being be? Let me give you a description. Brace yourself: this is not for the weak of heart.

Height: about 29 inches of terror
Weight: a crushing 20 pounds
Mobility: 4 limbs, used for slithering and/or crawling
Distinguing traits: Smiles a lot. Some propensity for drooling.

Evil, thy name is K!

K, you see, is an eleven-month-old little boy at daycare. Who has been going there since he was only a few months old. He is one of two baby boys that started around the same time. He’s not a terribly demanding baby. He smiles a lot. And he is apparently threatening to destroy Phoebe’s happiness. (Oddly, the slightly older other baby boy, J, is the one that cries a lot and demand more attention. But he is not a threat.)

Here are K’s terrifying modes of attack:
1) Touching toys that Phoebe is playing with: “K touch cookies! Waaah!”
2) Touching toys that Phoebe might want to play with: “K touch beads! Waaaaaah!”
3) Touching other things. Let me give you the blow by blow of the worst transgression. You see, I usually sit down and play with Phoebe for a couple of minutes when I pick her up at daycare, to help ease the transition. So one afternoon, I sat on the floor next to Phoebe to see what she was doing. And then it happened. Horror of horrors, K crawled over and touched…my jacket. That I was wearing. And he smiled at me. The reaction, as befits such horrific trauma, was immediate and vocal. “K touch Mommy. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! K TOUCH MOMMY!!!! WAAAAAH!”

I’ve mentioned before that Phoebe has been crying more, which has been a bit trying. If we wanted to do so, we could get her to cry with the merest suggestion that she play with K. She sometimes talks about the traumatic experiences she has had, late at night, or while playing at home. “K touch the cookies! I cry! K touch Mommy. [Dramatic sob.]”

This battle of wills has evolved to the point where Phoebe will burst into tears as soon as K arrives at daycare, smiling that horrible smile.

And who knows what dastardly plans that little tot will devise next?

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10 responses to “Phoebe’s nemesis

  1. Twenty more years of screaming when boys touch her and you are home free!

  2. Heehee… he sounds terrifying!

  3. too funny…this had me totally cracking up!

  4. It seems quite obvious that K is out to rule the universe, the little demon! Poor Phoebe, why can’t we all see the evil she sees?!

    I love the review of infractions later: “K touch the cookies! I cry! K touch Mommy. [Dramatic sob.]” It’s just really fantastic.

  5. What? No inflection for tense?! Waaaaaaaah…

    ;-)

  6. rotflmfao! there’s always one, isn’t there?

    just reminded me of when my BC was younger; there was a boy K of sorts who terrified her in our playgroup. he was younger than she (but much, much bigger), and he would knock her down every chance he got. don’t know why; it just seemed like his hobby.

    until one day… BC got good and mad and just knocked that kid on his butt. i was horrified (i am trying desperately to teach my kids not to use violence to solve problems), but fortunately, K’s mom, an enlightened sort, cheered my daughter on. she had seen how her son had been manhandling BC over the course of a few weeks (in spite of our efforts to keep them apart, etc.) she was thrilled.

    fast forward: sometimes, K and BC end up in a YMCA class together now, at the advanced ages of 8 and 9. BC still tells the coach how she once knocked K down. i am still horrified, but K’s mom smiles every time :)

    (a usually quiet lurker. bet you wish i remained quiet, huh :-)

  7. Too funny. Poor Phoebe — the nice kid is out to get her. And the nightmares. Poor kid.

  8. kids are human concentrates. but you just can’t get enough of them!

    finally got around to do the meme. :) check it out if you can!

  9. I’m quite sure that K would also terrify me! :)

  10. What a fiend!! Poor Phoebe…I hope she can survive! :)

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