rough night


Sorry if you are looking for a list, or even any sort of entertainment. It’s Thursday, and therefore I’m due for a ThThTh list. It’s in progress, but damn those things take a lot longer to put together than you might expect. A list will be up much later today. What follows can be happily ignored by anyone who doesn’t enjoy reading about the crankiness of dealing with a toddler.

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I’m feeling less-than-fully functional today. Phoebe and I had a bad night. I didn’t mention in last night’s post that John had to run off to get a meeting this morning. In California. So he was gone last night, and will be gone tonight. I also think that Phoebe’s been teething. The biting is one clue. She’s also been drooling and sticking her hands and other things in her mouth a lot, which she’s not generally prone to anymore. For whatever reason, she woke up twice last night. Once about half an hour after she went to bed, and then a little after midnight. (As in just when I was going to get to bed.) I just could not get her to settle down.

We talked. I dosed her with Motrin. I held her. I rocked her. I sang to her. But every time I went to put her in her crib, she’d cry again. I tried leaving her, and she screamed and screamed. I went back after a few minutes, and am not pleased with myself that I snapped at her that it was time to stop crying. (I was tired. Sorry. I have a temper.) So then I started right in with the soothing and snuggling and talking, and she seemed to settle. But still objected to going back in her crib.

I asked if she was sad that Daddy wasn’t here, and she said “yeah.” So we called John. (It was only 10:30 or so California time, and John’s ususally up half the night anyhow.) He talked. He soothed.

I put Phoebe in her crib. I sang. I talked about things she likes me to talk about. Then I said it was time to go, just like I do every single night. She usually lets out a sob as I walk out the door, just to pull at my heart strings, but then goes to sleep quietly. But last night, at 2:00, she started screaming. And screaming more. I haven’t left her crying for ages. I don’t even know how long it’s been. (Yes, we did a version of the dreaded Ferberization way back when. Dr. Sears can bite me.) But I thought maybe she’d settle down without me. I went back in after 10 minutes, and got her quiet again. But the screams started in once more. I went back in and she was saying “Mommy room. Mommy room.” “You want to go to Mommy’s room?” I asked. (I swore I’d never talk about myself in the third person, but deictic pronouns are tricky beasts.) She said, “yeah.”

I caved. I brought her to bed with me. I was desperate for sleep. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. She eventually stopped squirming enough to fall asleep. At least, she appeared to be just waking up when she woke me up crying at 6:45.

Now I wonder if this will come back to bite me. She really does sleep best on her own. And she’s generally a good sleeper.

Happily, she went to daycare this morning, and I was able to get a bit more sleep. I am “working” from home today, but haven’t been able to defog my brain sufficiently. I do have a conference call at 3:30, so will need to kick into high gear.

I hope that tonight goes better, because I have to drive the two of us down to New York tomorrow. John’s dad is going back home, after over a year in various hospitals and rehab hospitals. John will be going right to New York from his trip, following his red-eye flight to Newark, rather than going home first, so that he can be there to help. Phoebe and I will go down later in the day. Our eyes may well be red, too.

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11 responses to “rough night

  1. Oh dear– drink lots of coffee, or something stimulating, and safe travels!

  2. As someone whose husband travels constantly, let me tell you — it really upsets them when Daddy is out of town.

  3. Oh man… rough. Sending good thoughts your way, so that tonight you can all sleep better.

  4. it’s those long nights of the soul that in the end, teach us a whole hell of a lot.

  5. When Josh is out of town, BubTar always sleep in Josh’s spot. He knows it is a special treat and he just gets to do it when Daddy is away. KayTar is very rigid in her routines and would hate to sleep in a different bed. LOL.

  6. sometimes you just have to give in. tonight she may go right back. I hope. fingers crossed for you…

  7. conversely, last night was the first in a long time that diego slept all the way through…or at least until 5am.

  8. P still comes to bed with us if he has a bad dream or is sick or something. I finally decided that I was tired of getting upset and fighting it. He’s better now and it’s only a few times a week, not every night. Maybe by the time he’s 3 he’ll stay in his own bed every night. Until then, I give in and take the cuddles of the one who lets me. :-) She’ll be fine.

  9. i hope last night was better.

    safe travels.

  10. I’m blessed with a good sleeper, but there are nights, of course…

    I wonder if, when the Sergeant is deployed, I’ll cave more easily and take the little guy into my bed…

    Hope last night was better.

  11. blc-
    Thanks for the well wishes. The travels were safe!

    Emily-
    That’s good to know. Not that it necessarily makes things easier, but it’s nice to know what will be a major disruption.

    Mme. Meow-
    We got a much better night’s sleep the next night. So thanks for the good thoughts!

    jen-
    It is definitely a learning experience, this parenting gig.

    Kyla-
    Thanks for sharing that. It’s good to know what works for people. We may try something like that for future trips.

    Painted-
    The second night was much calmer, and the crib sleeping was back to normal.

    maja-
    Hurray Diego! Though maybe the cousins were in some sort of cahoots…

    pgoodness-
    Ah, yes. Cuddles are good. Thanks for sharing that you do this.

    magpie-
    The next night was much easier, and travels went safely. Many thanks!

    dragonfly-
    I can imagine myself wanting the company, in your shoes. I can totally see caving more easily.

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